Two Quick Ways To Sort Out Your Hassles

Transactional Analysis (TA) was developed by Eric Berne over 50 years ago. It still stands as one of the best maps for navigating the inner wellsprings and outer seas of the human condition. Berne simplified the language of psychoanalysis so that everyone can understand it. He noted that we all have inner ego states (regardless of our age) that serve important functions in life. An inner Parent tells us what we should and shouldn’t do. This ego state was programmed by our own parents, school teachers, religious teachers and authorities in our broader society. This inner Parent can speak with a supportive voice or a critical tone. An inner Child ego state wants to express whatever it feels and to have what it wants when it wants it. This is an extremely helpful map for self-healing. Fourteen year-old Tom was struggling with his math assignment. In frustration, he slammed his book on the floor and stormed towards the front door.

Fran, his mother, was concerned that he might use poor judgment and get in trouble if he left the house in this state of mind. She yelled at him, “You come back here and finish your work before you go out!” A yelling match followed, in which both Fran and Tom shouted angry, hurtful words at each other. Tom stomped up the stairs and slammed the door to his room. This, just one in a long series of such interchanges between Tom and his parents, led them to seek counseling. Having a safe space in which to air their feelings was a big help to Tom and his parents. They had been arguing and fighting like that for several years, and all agreed they wanted to get along better but seemed stuck in patterns of frustration and anger. WHEE was their first step towards sorting out their hassles. WHEE is Energy Psychology a rapidly effective self-healing affirmation technique for releasing stresses. Everyone was able to use WHEE to let go of a lot of their angers towards each other.

This immediately improved the atmosphere between them and enabled them to listen better to each other and to identify the ego states that were contributing to their hassles. Tom was able to let go of much of his self-criticisms over his struggles with math. He began to see that he had an overly-critical inner parent – that was belittling him and discounting his intelligence. Fran released some of her frustrations over feeling inadequate to help Tom with school work that was stretching the limits of his patience. She, too, came to sense her inner critical parent voice was blaming her – for being a poor mom. Bob, Tom’s father, after lessening his own anger, promised to come home earlier from work so he could help with the homework. This was the first supportive-parent voice we identified in the family. Tom and Fran came to see that they were having negative responses to each other. They were reacting critically to the tone of what was being said rather than to the content. It is extremely common to find that you and others respond more to the feeling tone of a message than to its content. The second helpful aspect to this map is that it immediately suggests alternatives to the conflictual exchanges. You could change your tone of voice and feeling focus from Critical to Supportive Parent. When tensions are running high, a time out to reduce the stress levels with WHEE can then facilitate smoother, more harmonious interactions.

Instead, try to use this last paragraph to really show your skills as a writer by being as artful in your rephrasing as possible. A preview of the three subtopics you will discuss in the body paragraphs. Concluding Transition, Reverse “hook,” and restatement of thesis. Rephrasing main topic and subtopics. Global statement or call to action. Although it may seem like a waste of time – especially during exams where time is tight – it is almost always better to brainstorm a bit before beginning your essay. This should enable you to find the best supporting ideas – rather than simply the first ones that come to mind – and position them in your essay accordingly. Your best supporting idea – the one that most strongly makes your case and, simultaneously, about which you have the most knowledge – should go first. Even the best-written essays can fail because of ineffectively placed arguments.

Sentences and vocabulary of varying complexity are one of the hallmarks of effective writing. When you are writing, try to avoid using the same words and phrases over and over again. You don’t have to be a walking thesaurus but a little variance can make the same idea sparkle. Although examples of this are harder to give, consider our writing throughout this article as one big example of sentence structure variety. In the end, though, remember that good writing does not happen by accident. Although we have endeavored to explain everything that goes into effective essay writing in as clear and concise a way as possible, it is much easier in theory than it is in practice. As a result, we recommend that you practice writing sample essays on various topics. Even if they are not masterpieces at first, a bit of regular practice will soon change that – and make you better prepared when it comes to the real thing.